When one’s pants hang low …
By Chuck Doud
The Madera Tribune
A fellow I saw walking on the sidewalk along Courthouse Park the other day would have a bad time in Lynwood, Ill. The leaders of that fair village have made it illegal to wear pants that show three inches or more of the underwear beneath them. Presumably, if the pants are low enough to show flesh, the ordinance would be applied as well.
The fine for wearing pants at half mast in Lynwood is $25.
The young man I saw would surely have been $25 poorer in Lynwood. I thought any minute he was going to have an accident and if he had, he would have showed a lot more than three inches of underwear. His trousers would have been around his shoes.
The plumber who came to fix our pipes last summer also would have problems in Lynwood. When he was bending over, you could see all the way down to Biola.
The American Civil Liberties Union believes the Lynwood law may discriminate against people of color, but I can tell you that my plumber’s cheeks were as white as snow — snow with hair on it, that is.
Nor was the guy I saw walking down the street with pants at half mast a person of color. He was wearing underwear of color, though — green-speckled boxer shorts, not unlike a pair I have at home.
I don’t think I would have a problem in Lynwood, because I tend to keep my pants pretty well up — most of the time, anyway.
I do have a couple of old pairs of jeans that tend to get loose as I wear them during the day, and when I forget to hitch them up they drop a little low. I don’t think you would ever see my underwear, but you might see my shirt hang out a little.
